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My dream, my brand – and why I never give up
When life changes what you dare to do
In 2016, the next life crisis hit.
I felt something was wrong in my body. I was sick – but not really. Something didn’t add up.
And at the same time, I was finally happy.
I had a good life, a good job at Maria Nila.
I got to do what I loved most – educating hairdressers. I traveled. I lived.
Then I’m sitting there, at the doctor’s office, waiting for my test results.
He looks at me and says:
“I’m sorry, but you have cancer.”
Shit. Damn it. Game over.
What now?
Suddenly, I had to see life through different eyes.
And once again I thought:
This little damn cancer is not going to dictate my life.
It can have a moment of my time – I’ll fight it – but then it’s coming along for the ride.
It can sit in the back seat, not behind the wheel.
Not because I thought I would die – but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the toughest times of my life.
At the same time, it gave me clarity.
I didn’t want to live with one foot on the brake anymore.
I didn’t want to be afraid to try something new, or go after my dreams.
To keep postponing what I actually wanted.
To wait for the “right” moment.
To wait for someone else’s approval – that no longer existed in my world.
Maybe you recognize this?
Maybe you’ve said: “One day I will...”
But why not now?
I believe we change deeply when something threatens our safety.
What used to scare me – taking risks, failing, starting over – became less scary than the thought of standing still and never having tried.
Today, I’m grateful for the cancer.
Not because I wanted to go through it – but because I was forced to, and I chose to take something meaningful from it.
It gave me the strength to live my life, to live my dreams.
We only get one life – and it’s our responsibility to make the most of it.
2019 – the year I went all in
A new year had arrived.
Every New Year’s Day I sit down to reflect on the year that passed – and set new goals for the one ahead.
At that time, I was working to promote and educate about Y.S.PARK, a Japanese high-end brand for professional hairdressing tools.
I loved it – both the brand and spreading awareness of how important it is to use the right tools and the right knowledge.
2019 was also the year I turned 50.
I had been carrying a dream for seven years, but life had gotten in the way every time I got close to making it real.
Then came the realization:
If I don’t do it now – I never will.
I made the decision: Now or never.
I quit my job, took all my savings – and went all in on my dream.
I started working full-time in my own company and sat down to write the book I had needed when I was starting out in my career.
No one knew if it would work. Not even me.
But I knew I’d rather try – than live with the question what if?
It wasn’t courage that drove me. It was honesty.
I was honest with myself.
And sometimes, that’s the only superpower we need.
Writing the book that didn’t exist
I had been collecting knowledge for seven years – now I just had to get it down on paper.
But where do you even start when you’re writing a book?
I had hated every school assignment that involved writing essays. It just wasn’t my thing.
I’m a hairdresser. And yeah – you know. The academic stuff might not always be our strong suit. We’re the creatives.
But I made the decision. I started pouring out everything in my head.
The layout would have to come later.
At the time, my son was living in Madrid, so I flew down to him – one week in January, February, and March.
Each time, I’d sit down at a little restaurant on the square and write. From morning to late afternoon, every day for a week.
Then I’d fly home, edit the text I’d written – and do it all again the next month.
For me, color should be clear, simple, and fun.
But when I worked behind the chair – it wasn’t.
I found it hard to understand.
The brands used words and concepts that felt complicated and unfamiliar.
I didn’t get it.
But as a hairdresser, teacher, and educator, I had been forced to break the knowledge down – until it became clear. Simple.
And once it was simple – it became fun, too.
The book became my way of collecting all that knowledge, clarity, and simplicity I had built up over the years.
All the things hairdressers don’t usually get to hear.
All the things many have learned “by feel” – but never really understood.
For me, the book had to be:
-
honest
-
clear
-
educational
-
easy to read
I wanted lots of visuals – pictures that could speak for themselves.
And it couldn’t be influenced by any brand or trend.
Most of all, I wanted it to be useful in real life, every day in the color room.
The text was done. The image ideas were set.
Next challenge: layout.
How was I supposed to bring it all together?
I had a strong mental image of what I wanted the book to look like – but how the heck do you make that happen?
Then I found a company.
And a woman.
We clicked instantly – and she became an important part of bringing my dream to life.
She understood my vision right away.
And she took my thoughts – and translated them onto the screen.
And right there – in that little square in Madrid – with notes, sangria, and thoughts flowing from my fingertips – something began to take shape.
It wasn’t just a book.
It was the beginning of something bigger.
Something that would change my life.
And maybe – if everything worked the way I hoped – it would also change how we teach, think about, and work with color.
But I didn’t know that then.
All I knew was that I was going to complete my seven-year dream.
I was ready to go all in.
Next step?
Turning the vision into reality.
And that’s where we continue in Part 3 – when the world suddenly stopped, and I said yes anyway.
/Camilla Rörstrand